The Anonymous Advanatage

The cowardice of the newest form of bullying has come to the forefront of the media in recent weeks. Cyberbullying is the cowards way to brow beat any opposition using the anonymous advantage.

The mask is the single most powerful object known to mankind. It affords its user great powers and the greatest of them all is anonymity. Your Identity is your most precious secret and while hiding under the mask of anonymity the only part of your identity available is the part you can clearly show on the Internet, your mind.

Cyberbullying is the form of antagonism du jour, and has been greatly employed by many on the Internet who have lost their connection with the humanity on the other end of the keyboard. The current Internet culture is mostly being embraced by teens and young adults who have made cyberspace part of their identity. The cloak of anonymity has given teenage schoolyard bullies a whole new set of weapons to commit their savage acts of targeted disdain without the fear of repercussions.

"The anonymity provided by new technology limits a victim from responding in a
way that may ordinarily stop a peer's aggressive behavior or influence the
probability of future acts, which provides an advantage to the perpetrator,"
the CDC's Corinne David-Ferdon and Marci Feldman Hertz wrote.

Megan Meier was one teen on the receiving end of cyber-harassment. The 13 year old was duped into believing that a former friend's mother was a 16 year old boy who had a crush on her. The already psychologically fragile girl was on anti-depressants. After building up her hopes, her former friend on the myspace screen name of her mother's design, ridiculed Megan along with a group of others. Some of the last words Megan saw on the monitor were, "the world would be better off without you." Her parents found her hanging from a support beam in her closet, a belt as a noose.

The laws two Missouri state cities have enacted were too late to save her, but not too late to come to the aide of the woman who orchestrated the hoax that lead to Megan's untimely death.

Suicide is not the only method being used to put an end to the agony teenagers face from cyber-bullies. The Journal for Adolescent Health and the CDC have found connection between cyberbullying and the physical outlash that has driven fear into the hearts of parents. With a significant increase of children ages 10-17 reporting they are the victims of cyberbullying, a trend that has risen from 6% in 2000 to 9% in 2005, anti-social behavior has also risen.

"Youth harassed online were significantly more likely to also report two or
more detentions or suspensions, and skipping school in the previous year,"
Michele Ybarra and colleagues at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore reported
in another study in the journal. "Especially concerning, youth who reported
being targeted by Internet harassment were eight times more likely than all
other youth to concurrently report carrying a weapon to school in the past 30
days," added Ybarra's team, who interviewed 1,500 10- to 15-year-olds.

This information makes a stanza from "Teenagers" by My Chemical Romance make more sense.

"The boys and girls in the clique.

The awful names that they stick.

You're never gonna fit in much,

kid But if you're troubled and hurt

What you got under your shirt

Will make them pay for the things that they did."

Cyber Harassment is not only limited to the youth, after all most bullies learn their behavior from the home. Many adults engaged in activities on the Internet have been known to harass individuals ad nauseum. Adult cyber bullies get the same jollies as their youthful counterparts, power through anonymity. The major difference is in the purpose behind the actions driven by the lack of self esteem or self worth. These types want Internet attention. Most adult cyber bullies are attention whores with little to no dignity left. They are adults who find themselves without merit or respect in their natural environment and seek acceptance online.

Many a comedy parody has been made on adult bullies who troll around looking for fights or vindication for their inability to function in normal society. One of the best comedy sites is Flame Warriors. Here you will find a list of characters with illustrations that match the personalities of all types who routinely debate on the Internet. For example:

Blowhard feels the need to present his credentials before
entering the fray - even if they are irrelevant to the discussion. For example,
in a movie forum conflict he might attempt to settle the matter by saying, "As a
Ph. D. candidate in particle physics I believe I can say with some authority
that the 'Beavis and Butthead' movie represents the emergence of a new cultural
paradigm." Huh?

For Ego, the discussion forum is all about him, and he
regards discussions that stray from that topic as trivial dalliances. Although
tolerant of an occasional shift in focus, Ego grows increasingly restive when
the forum's attention shifts away from his interests, and he will often provoke
conflict to reestablish himself as the subject at hand. Ego is one the the
fiercest of all the Warriors and will fight to the death when attacked.

Although sometimes a male, Crybaby is usually a female,
and often a close ally of Innocence Abused. When teased or attacked Crybaby will
pitch a loud public temper tantrum, holding her breath and kicking her feet. If
that defense fails she will run to Nanny for comfort.

Despite the hilarity of these perceptions there are truth to them. The Flame War is found on almost any forum on the Internet and can be the source of endless fun for those witted enough to not take the opinions of a mask seriously. However, they can become quite serious in the work place.

The Internet is not only a playground but has become a source of income for those brave enough to enter its clutches. When the source of income is threatened by the flame wars it takes on a real world dilemma. Unlike solid work places, the cyber work place has little to no laws governing the behavior found within its midst. The Internet by virtue of what it is, is more often than not considered international territory. Libel, Slander, Stalking, Harassment of any kind, these are all found in the telecommute workplace. Proving who is behind attacks generated online seems to be the source of frustration justice is feeling when dealing in cyber crimes. The advantage of anonymity has given a new dynamic to the darkness of the human soul that we see for display on the internet.

Time can only tell if more laws will be passed regulating Internet behavior and to stem the tide of a new and harassing culture.

Cross Post from Digital Journal- click link and vote if you please http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/247159/Op_Ed_The_Anonymous_Advanatage

3% Rise in Teen Pregnancy Prompts Increased Efforts.

Over the past 20 years teen pregnancy has fallen dramatically after a large peak in 1990. However the recently released numbers for the year of 2006 has shown a 3% increase which have prompted efforts to avoid a trend.

The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy is a non profit organization that is mostly supported by private donors. The organization was founded in 1996 with the mission to educate the masses about the necessity of preventing teen and unplanned pregnancy. The dramatic decline in teen pregnancy can be contributed to the efforts of the National Campaign as well as concerned citizens around the United States. In 1990 the average rate for teen pregnancy was 117 pregnancies per 1000 teenage girls between 15-19 and the estimate as of 2006 is 41.9 per 1000 teenage girls between 15-19. The number show that although the United States has the highest average of teenage pregnancy among industrialized nations, education and prevention have helped lower the rate of teenage and unplanned pregnancies. However a 3% rise in the teenage birth rate has fanned the flames of the movement lead by the National Campaign.

Sarah Brown (CEO of the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy) said,

"A one year up-tick does not necessarily mean the progress has ceased, but at
the same time, the increase is significant enough to warrant concern. For years,
the National Campaign has celebrated the yearly decline in the teen rates but
has also warned that good news can lead to complacency. Each year, a new group
of young people turns 13, and the need to retain a steady, intense focus on
preventing teen pregnancy remains. We have also noted many times that even with
the wonderful declines of the last 14 years, the United States still has the
highest rate of teen pregnancy and birth in the developed world. Perhaps today's
numbers will encourage a greater, more intense concentration nationwide on
teens. Over the next several months, our group and others will be trying to
tease out what might account for today's news. An important aspect of this work
will be to recognize that birth rates went up last year not only for teens but
also for women in their 20s, 30s and 40s. It will also be important to learn
more about how these broad changes in the US birth rate might have been affected
by the abortion rate, public investments in education and services, behavioral
changes, state variations, and more as well."

The link between teenage pregnancy and other social ills has been established through research conducted by the National Campaign and affiliate groups. The findings show a remarkable connection between the well being of children and unplanned pregnancy

• Women experiencing an unplanned pregnancy are less likely than women who have an intended pregnancy to obtain early prenatal care and their babies are at
increased risk of both low birth weight and of being born prematurely.

• At the age of two, children born as the result of unplanned pregnancy have
significantly lower cognitive test scores when compared to children born as the
result of an intended pregnancy.

• The majority of children from an unplanned pregnancy are born to unmarried women. Children born outside of two-parent married families are more likely to be poor, drop out of high school, have lower grade-point averages, lower college aspirations, and poorer school attendance records.

• One of the most obvious, additional consequences of unplanned pregnancy is abortion—in 2001 there were approximately 1.3 million abortions in the United States.

The CDC confirms this data in a report analyzing the national abortion numbers in 2002. The findings are that the number of abortions increased from 1973 to 1990 and then had a steady decline. The numbers coincide with the average teenage pregnancy chart shown below.


It is felt that sexuality is on the rise amongst teens. A report from Mom Logic.com surveyed 500 children from around the country between the ages of 12-17. The findings were shocking as 1-in-5 children reported seeing students having sex at school. A 15 year old from seattle reported that one couple would have sex at lunch not far from where they ate especially if the girl had a skirt on. Another student reported being disgusted at having to dodge a used condom in the school hallway.

It seems that pregnancy education and prevention are still greatly needed in American schools.

Cross Post from Digital Journal - click link and upvote if you please
http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/247172/3_Rise_in_Teen_Pregnancy_Prompts_Increased_Efforts_

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Restaurant Etiquette

The Restaurant Business is a thankless job. Here are some ways you can make your server and host happy, and your service better.

I have worked in restaurants for years, from fast food to sit down there is one common theme, ungrateful customers. If you are one of those who feels entitled to service to the point that you feel you need to make your every whim and wish heard, this is for you.

1) Upon entering a restaurant you will be greeted by a Host/Hostess. These are very busy people, if the do not look at you the second you walk in, just relax the will get to you. While you see a person ignoring you, they are probably going over seating charts and available tables. This is to ensure that you are sat in a timely manner.

2) Do Not request a specific area unless you absolutely have to. Most restaurants seat based on the concept of rotation. This way customers are spaced out between available servers. The rotation ensures the best service by not putting too much stress on a specific server at one time. If you ask for a special table because of health reasons, that is perfectly permissible. Anytime you ask for a special seat be prepared to have a slightly longer wait for the first couple of rounds the server makes to your table.

3) While waiting in the lobby do not smoke and keep your kids in check. Most lobbies are smoke free areas and it is not only rude to the other customers but to the host as well. After all that is their environment that they must keep clean and trouble free. Children wildly running everywhere can disturb the comfort of the lobby as well.

4)Once you are seated it may take a few minutes for the server to get to you, especially on a busy day. Servers have duties in the kitchen as well as on the floor to attend to. Once you are approached the server will ask you for you drinks. At this time you are now within her time and space management. She will do her best to service you while you are a guest at her workplace.

5) Say please and thank you. Servers are not servants, they are hard working people just like you.

6) Try to keep your area neat. Sloppy eaters, please remember you are in another person's office. You would not go into a co workers office and leave catsup on their desk would you? If you do make a huge mess, make sure to leave extra tip for compensation of the extra work you are putting the server through

7) Be vocal with your needs, but not belligerent. If your server has not filled your drink in a timely manner say something. Be polite though. Remember they do handle your food...

8) If your food comes back and is not correctly cooked do not automatically blame the server. There are cooks in the back that sometimes mess up too. You do not tip the cooks, so their mistakes should not be reflected on how you tip the server. Also you are allowed to politely ask for a change. You do not have to speak down to the server like they are an idiot. Again remember, they do handle your food...

9) When you are done eating attempt to leave in a timely fashion or compensate your extended stay with a larger tip. Remember the more customers a waitress has the more they can receive in pay. If you are holding up the table you are cutting into the servers wages.

10) Tips! This subject has already come up a few times in the article but lets get to the nitty gritty of the situation. Most servers make 2-4 dollars an hour. Minimum wage for a server is different than that of an average worker. The government has allowed businesses to short change servers because they collect tips. Tips are no longer considered "optional based on service." Unless the service is so horrendous that you will never come back, you are obliged to leave at least a 10% tip. If your service is average you should leave a 15% tip, if service is excellent then you should leave a 20% tip. Yes this goes for large bills as well. The more food you eat, the more work the server did for you. If you do not tip you have not only been rude, but you may have less than enthusiastic service if you return to the same server on your next visit. This is not to be rude, but if they know their time is not well spent on you they will put their efforts elsewhere to make more money, wouldn't you? Remember to treat your servers with respect and dignity. Many are very intelligent people working their way through college, or have children to feed. You will be hard pressed to find people who work as hard as a server.

Insults and Innuendo: The "New" Form of Aggression

Psychological Warfare: Is our society truly enlightened or have we found a new form of non-physical warfare that is protected by the law?

Shall quips, and sentences, and these paper bullets of the brain awe a man from the career of his humour?Senior Benedict, Act II of Much Ado About Nothing by William Shakespeare.

Insults have been around since language was invented. They have always been considered the civilized man's way of handling his problems with another. As the society developed, so did the complexity of non physical aggression. One rumor, one look, even a phrase could do considerable damage to a person's "good name."

We can see examples in literature through out history as to how insults and innuendo have been used to win favor with women, favor in the court, or even minor house wars. This behavior has enriched both fact and fiction alike. In Robert Jordan's The Wheel of Time series, he calls these actions the "Game of Houses." Much like Chess, when one embarks in this game, you must not only have a strategy, but also must anticipate the other person's move.

Shakespeare is another author of amazing insults and innuendo. Most of his plays are rife with clever insults and puns. You can see this notably in the character of Mercutio who is Romeo's good friend in Romeo and Juliette. The entire play of Much Ado About Nothing is centered around a war of words between most of the characters but mostly between Beatrice and Benedict.

There are games which center around insults and have been around for years. In my generation the 80's and 90's were a host to a game that pitted the quick witted against their unsuspecting prey called the Crack Off. Usually initiated by some verbal bully to make them feel superior to another person who did not spend their day thinking up the best insults. Today the tv show "Yo Mamma" shows this game in a fun light.

You can also see insults and innuendo in every form of politics. Only small parts of wars are waged with physical aggression. Right now nations are in full onslaught of slander, media plays, and politics. Media wars are a new player in an old game that tries to tear the enemy apart from within and alienate it from its allies. Yes, insults and innuendo are a major part of war that is not acknowledged by most modern citizens. So how is this a new form of aggression when it has been around forever? It has to deal with the new turn it has taken and the new weapon that is being used to sling the insults and lies.

Right now insults and innuendo, even down right harassment, is being hidden under the guise of free speech. It is defended by people who accuse and abuse others on a daily basis. We have all heard the lines, " Grow a thick skin," " Take it like a man," " Don't be a baby," "If you don't like it ignore it," even though it is in your face and screaming unresolved in the depths of your psyche. The Internet has also encouraged insults, lies, libel, slander, and the mob reactions from its users. We have seen this to a lesser extent in message boards and chat rooms, but have also seen the fruition of this recently when a man killed himself live on the Internet while in an insult based chat room. Indeed Cyberbullying has made the headlines time and time again in these past few years.

The reality is that insults can no longer be reciprocated in the ways they were handled in the old days. One could be looking at a pop in the mouth, or ostracising from others. Today in the "developed" world, those who insult are protected by the law. They receive no repercussions for their actions, and keep goading and baiting, harassing and lying. They continue to be protected as they ruin a person's good name, their reputation, and do damage to their emotions. Today, they are given multimillion dollar careers as shock jocks, celebrities, talk show hosts, and news anchors. Those who insult are cheered and congratulated by the average citizens of today as they mutilate a person's psyche. The emotional or mental damage caused by harassment and insults can be far more painful or debilitating than physical wounds caused by a retaliatory punch or smack.

Insult warriors now used their victims fragile emotional state to inflict more pain on them than they could have by just physically confronting them. Even worse the pain and frustration caused by this psychological warfare does take on physical form in depression, self mutilation and suicide. (Many effects of Depression are physical and very painful. The weakened immune system from depression can cause illness, and contributes to various conditions such as G.E.R.D., and Ulcers.)Protecting this type of behavior, even encouraging it, has lead to a generation of bullies and a rise in anti-social personality disorder. We can see that being cold and heartless has been accepted as popular and kids are aspiring to be the next great insulter.

We do not live in an enlightened society, nor can we boast of being peaceful while we protect and excuse this type of behavior.